There are opportunities every day to have a first encounter with a woman and do some flirting. Men have to be more cautious these days about approaching women so they don’t come across as some sort of creepy or scary guy. Women will be even more cautious of advances if they have their children with them. It doesn’t mean don’t try, just be respectful of their concern for their safety and their children’s safety.
In a bar, grocery store, or even a parking lot, be very observant of the woman’s comfort level of how close you are to her. Most women will need a little more room than you do to feel comfortable. Never approach a woman where she may feel vulnerable. Stay in well lit and crowded areas for first encounters. It is more challenging in today’s times to approach women, but it can be done.
Before you head out of the house be sure to have clean, fresh smelling clothes on. Take the time to shave and shower. Make sure your breath smells fresh. If you are just heading to the store, keep the cologne to a minimum. Have a pen and paper, or your cell handy in case you find someone you want to exchange phone numbers with so you don’t have to wait for her to rummage through her purse.
Before beginning flirting, it is best to try to identify the person as single. If there is a ring on her finger, just stop yourself right there, no need to add drama and heartache to your life. For the others that there is no way to tell, conversation starters can give you clues. You can even throw hints in that you are single. Here are a few to get you started:
If at a grocery store her cart looks like she’s buying ingredients to make a meal-say “It looks like you know how to cook. Being single, it’s hard for me to cook for just one person, I bet your boyfriend/husband appreciates you.”
If its a woman with a group-say “if you look this good going out with your friends, you must look really good going out with your boyfriend or husband.”
For a woman alone-say “the man you are waiting for is really lucky to have a woman like you here to meet him.”
Depending on the answer, you will know what direction to go. Keep your eyes open even if she gives you an answer that would indicate that she is single; not everyone is honest about their relationship status.
With a little thought you can think of more ways to start a conversation to see if you can move to the next step of flirting. Never put down the partner in case there is one. Who knows, she may be single some day and run into you or have a great single friend. Presenting yourself as a positive person with a positive outlook on relationships will get you further.
Flirting isn’t just coming up with the latest and greatest pick up lines. Tried and true pick up lines can make you come across like a player. Flirting is making that lady feel special and that she has your adoring attention for that moment. It is about body language even more than the conversation. Here are some ways to make a conversation turn into flirting:
Consistent direct eye contact (that means don’t turn your head when someone you think is good looking walks by).
Keep a comfortable distance, but slightly lean towards her when talking and listening.
Pay her compliments (not just about appearance, show her that you are paying attention to what she is telling you about herself)
Lots of smiling.
If in close proximity, like what occurs in a bar, while mutually laughing about something, briefly touch her arm (do not be anywhere near the breasts when doing so).
Flirting tips for first encounters in a store:
A grocery store shopping cart is a great conversation starter. There are all kinds of things to talk about from favorite toothpaste to dinner suggestions. Most stores provide a casual and relaxed environment to start conversations. You will see the “real” person and she will not have her wall of protection up as high.
Children may be with a woman when she is shopping. If you genuinely like kids and don’t mind dating a woman with kids, go ahead and start flirting. Acknowledge the children but don’t look too interested in them. Try to fit in a comment about safety to the kids “it is only OK to talk to me when your mom is with you, always be careful who you talk to”. If you can make a genuine compliment to the kids, do so.
Before you leave the area where the woman is that you are flirting with, ask her out. Looking for her or following her through the store can make you look like the stalking type. Make the first date casual like coffee or breakfast date.
Flirting tips for first encounters in a bar:
Don’t use pick up lines and think you will get anywhere. Pick up lines can be conversation starters, though. Ask about the worse ones she’s ever heard and tell her a couple that you tried before you knew better.
Use the noise in a bar as an excuse to get a little closer than you can in other situations. Be sure to keep her smiling.
Not all flirting will end up in a date. Keep practicing. When there is no one around that you are interested in flirting with, watch how others flirt. Pay attention to what matches your personality and what works.
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